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Star Wars study notes for girls

It’s become worryingly apparent that not everyone seems to know the basics of Star Wars. And by ‘everyone’ I mostly mean girls. Don’t yell at me for the gender bias, I’m just calling it as I see it. It’s a sad indictment of our education system that there is now at least one generation who doesn’t recognise the little green chap on the Vodafone ads. I created a quick set of cram notes to help fix this.

1. Yes, you need to watch all three 

Yes, the ‘second’ three movies actually came first. And yes the other three are pretty rubbish. But you probably don’t need to see those ones so just watch the first three (meaning the second three). Clear? Outstanding.


Star Trek is Captains Kirk, Picard and Janeway. It’s Vulcans, Romulans and Klingons. And the Borg. IT’S THE ENTERPRISE!. Now let us never make this mistake again.

3. Yes, it’s meant to look slightly old

It’s set a long time ago in a galaxy far away. Not everything is shiny.

4. These are not the droids you’re looking for

Until you’re slipping this phrase into everyday conversation, you probably haven’t watched enough.

5. Yes, we know the Ewoks are a bit ridiculous

But so is Fifty Shades of Grey. And Ewoks can take down an AT-ST Walker so y’know, bear with us.

6. Get over the Luke/Princess Leia thing

No, we’re not really sure what George Lucas was thinking either but, well, we just don’t.

7. Darth Vader does not look like Batman!

He is a Dark Lord of the Sith. And he’s obviously awesome. You can tell by the music.


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  • Yesterday we were brainstorming the festive collection. And I said, “oh oh, and then, the yeti will steal the boy and freeze him into its ceiling, and our heroine will have to cut him down using her laser sword, and then they make their getaway wearing some fetching white boiler suit fashion.”

    …. by the boys, too. I had to school everyone, pronto. Tsk.

    • dylancollins

      I know, it’s increasingly a generational thing.

    • That reminds me of the scene in Reign of Fire where the kids were putting on Star Wars as if it were a play from folklore

  • 8. After the campy movies you also should watch ‘George Lucas in love’